The Comparison Cobweb
Do you ever fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others without even realising you are doing so? Is there a part of you that wants to snoop on someone else's social media newsfeed just to make sure that you are better than them? I admit I do this and I know that it never does me any good. The comparison cobweb only leads to misery, judgements and feelings of unworthiness.
In this age of social media it is almost impossible to not fall into this trap, however there is a way to avoid self judgement by being mindfully aware of how you are consuming social media feeds. Last night I had 6 hours sleep, I'm tired and a little cranky. I went to meditate, spent 20 minutes getting angry about someone that had annoyed me instead of focusing on the Divine and then spent another 20 minutes scrolling through Instagram and Facebook to try and make myself feel better. Funnily enough this didn't work, I found myself searching to compare myself to others with the theory that I would feel better. Of course at the time I was unwilling to admit this to myself, it's only with hindsight that I realise my innocent scrolling is a way for me to try and self medicate through comparison, am I better than her, is she better than me, am I winning at life?
So why do we do this? We live in a comparison based world, from the day that we are born we are measured and expected to live up to certain norms. Coupled with the fact that we live in fear that we will never be enough which is further instilled into us by the mainstream media. Isn't it any wonder we are all suffering from comparison crisis?
There is another more mindful way that you can choose which involves living from a heart centred world, accepting your own self instead of the cobweb of constant comparisons. In a heart centred world you accept things as they are instead of how they should be. You allow yourself to just be instead of imposing judgements and comparisons on yourself.
Easy to say but how to do it in practice? First and foremost, stop the scrolling. Take yourself away from social media if you feel in any way vulnerable. Secondly, remind yourself that you are unique, there will never be anyone who is exactly like you and therefore it's futile to compare yourself to someone else. Thirdly stop using the word should and start accepting things as they are. And finally, focus on yourself and what you are creating in life instead of wasting time and energy on worrying about how much better someone else's life looks to you because that other someone is probably looking in on your life and making exactly the same comparisons about you! Be gentle with yourself, live from your heart and love.